Read diary

I couldn't find any other word more reflective of how i feel now. i hate more things about me than what i love about myself. i'm fat, immoral, lazy, unmotivated and extremely sad. i'm already taking Lexapro for two months but i seemed to hav this reccuring sadness that drives me nuts especially when my mom leaves for work leving me isolated at home all alone. i have a tense relationship with my classmates and have only a few friends who are either not in my class or who are more timid than i am. it even seems like a short-lived happiness at that moment and all the heightened feeling comes crashing down when i get home. i am better now compared to how i was two months ago. i'm not too irritable anymore. i have a good relationship with my mom now. But though my mood has stabilized for quite some time, i still feel sad, lonely and confused with my fluctuating mood. I don't know what to do. i'm being negligent of my responsibilities. i am awfully sleepy often. worse...i try to keep myself preoccupied with my desire to have pets and things that i think would make me happier. damn. this is all wrong. no matter how i try to fix myself, i really am still a cracked nut. sigh...